


Completely Complete

by Sonny



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post Season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-21
Updated: 2005-09-21
Packaged: 2017-10-13 14:22:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/138333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonny/pseuds/Sonny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PREQUEL to LOSE MY WAY ; A few years after the girls have left Pittsburgh and traveled to Canada; Brian visits for Gus' birthday, but he finds the real reason he came to Toronto.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I went into a Brian and Michael meltdown and denial… I mourned… I was angry and frustrated… I became numb… and then I got over myself… so this, in a personal way… is my re-awakening. So, I welcome myself back. I didn't feel right not being here and wallowing in them.

Brian straightened his coat collar, cool Fall weather blowing past him as he shifted the delicately wrapped package in his hand. He walked under the familiar front yard arch, shutting the metal gate and dodging the screaming and bellowing of pre-pubescent children swirling around him. He made it toward the table, functioning as the weight-bearer of the birthday boy's gifts.

"Thanks for showing up, Brian." Melanie grabbed for the present as she reached out to press a chaste kiss to Brian's cheek. She placed the box on the surface, along with all the others. "We could really use your help."

Brian scratched at the back of his newly shaved hairline. "Don't abuse the privilege. I almost didn't make it here."

"I know." Melanie chuckled lightly. "Traffic can be such a bitch."

"That wasn't the kind of traffic that hindered me." Brian winked as he allowed his eyes to flutter around, gazing about the fully decorated backyard. He recognized a few familiar faces, from his frequent trips up, which blended with the usual passel of faces of his son's, Gus', schoolmates. One face, in particular, evaded his view. "Looks like you got your hands full out here." Gus paused in the middle of the roughhousing to wave toward his father. Brian kindly acknowledged him. "Lindsay inside?"

Melanie didn't take Brian's question as refusing to be of any help to her. "Yeah. She should be bringing the last of the food out and checking on the cake."

Brian had his eyes trained on a pair of Lesbians who'd had an eye on him for months. They were making their way over, leaning into one another, checking out his _goods_. The blatant gazes were patently sexual in nature. "Then I will leave you to the task at hand." At the quiet mention of _hand_ , Brian managed to dodge the fondling, or groping, planned out for him. He'd taken the shortcut into the house, through the open garage doors. " _ **HI, HONEY!! I'M HOME!!**_ " He clomped up the cement stairs into the kitchen.

Lindsay popped her head from behind the refrigerator door. She was pulling out an array of snack foods, along with a lone fruit juice box. "You _did_ make it!" She seemed shocked in her own mind. "Did Mel see you on your way in? She wasn't sure you'd arrive at all."

Brian slipped off his lightweight jacket, placing it around the back of a kitchen chair. "The decision was daunting, but I rose to the challenge." He let the obvious sexual undertones to flow through the air. He unbuttoned his shirt cuffs, rolling them back to his bent elbows. "Mel mentioned you might need some help."

Lindsay simply rolled her eyes in response. Hands on hips, she inspected the cooling innards of the large kitchen appliance. " _Crap!_ I know I bought some… the last time I…" She moved a few items on the shelf. " _ **AH-HA!**_ _Eureka!_ " She put her final discovery on the wooden serving tray behind her on the kitchen counter.

"What's th--?" Brian attempted to snatch himself a piece of frosting, precariously hanging off the platter.

"Can you take those three bowls, in front of you, out to the picnic table?" Lindsay waved her hands toward the three prepared bowls resting on the kitchen nook table, waiting to go outside.

Brian raised a curious eyebrow. "Why? Where are _you_ going?" He didn't like being shackled with much more responsibility than he was willing to handle. He made no moves toward the bowls. He knew, if he pestered enough, he might find out a thing or two about the _other face_ that seemed to be missing from this party. He hated thinking someone was excluding _her_ for silly reasons or that _she_ somehow wasn't made to feel wanted.

Lindsay went over toward the drawer to find some utensils and a cloth napkin. "Upstairs. JR's been sick since last night." She slammed the drawer shut with her hip.

Brian was even more confused. "I was _here_ last night. She was _fine_."

Lindsay widened the spread of her hands. "Mel and I thought so, too. Until late last night. Gus couldn't sleep. We thought he might be overly nervous/excited about the party, but he said he couldn't stand to hear her crying, keeping him awake. When we went into her bedroom to see what was wrong… all she would tell us was that her _tummy hurt_." She shrugged as if it was difficult to figure out the ever-changing mind of a precocious four- _almost_ - _five_ -year-old.

" _Is she?_ "

"What do you mean?"

"Is she really _sick_? Did she have an outrageous temp or something… _I don't know_ … like throwing up everything she ate at dinner?" Brian didn't mean to sound like he thought Lindsay didn't know how to nurse her own children, but somehow he wasn't sure Lindsay was spot-on about what was truly bothering the little girl.

"No, but… she hasn't really eaten much to be that ill. Her temperature was _slightly_ elevated. That was more from how much she was working herself up by crying."

Brian walked over to the other side of the kitchen counter, his hands reaching out to take the serving tray from Lindsay's grip. "Keep taking care of Gus. Don't let him know that anything is wrong with his sister. I'll handle this."

Lindsay was stunned by the confidence sounding in Brian's tone. "But… she's _not_ _expecting_ _ **you**_. She's _waiting for_ _ **me**_."

Brian shrugged one shoulder joint. "Linds, something tells me that none of us will satisfy her." He tried to lift the tray, but couldn't walk away from Lindsay with a perplexed look left on her face. "I knew this would happen some day. It's been a long time coming. I thought you, or Mel, would be more attuned to this sort of thing… _being female and her_ _ **Mommies**_ _an' all_ …" He hadn't meant to sound sexist, but it was true and as honest as he always had been with them.

"Brian, that's unfair." Lindsay jerked the tray once from Brian's hands, but she let it go for no other reason than the intense gaze he was giving her. "JR's always been shy and introvert. She hasn't really been able to tell us much of anything that's been bothering her… unless it's--”

"Something physically apparent you two can readily fix without some emotionally drawn out drabble on what's really going on inside of her pliable mind? Believe me, out of everyone in this house, I'm pretty sure **I** am more qualified to handle this."

"I still don't get--”

"And you _never_ will. What with all this _distraction_ around you...” Brian motioned around himself, meaning the premise and build-up to Gus' birthday party. “... and other precedents that don't involve her."

" _Distraction?_ Brian, this is your son's birthday party. How can you think I'd--?Or that Mel would--?" Lindsay was too speechless at what Brian could be getting at with his comments.

"I don't. _**Think**_ , that is. I _**know**_. I know because I've gone through this very thing myself. Sometimes all alone, in my fucked up world I've created around me. I didn't have _**Mommies**_ wiping my brow, whispering sweet nothings in my ear or feeding me healthy bedtime snacks to fill up every empty space inside." Brian gestured his point with the packed serving tray he was lifting over the counter toward his body.

"Brian…" Lindsay came from around the breakfast bar to block Brian's passage. "… your point is still eluding me."

"Stop thinking with your head and try it once with your heart. Dinner… last night. What was our main topic of discussion?" Brian noticed the slow _dawning_ overcoming Lindsay's stunned features. "Exactly. Now, please move. Or I won't feel bad about knocking you down where you stand."

Lindsay finally moved, crossing her arms about her slim waist, covering her mouth at she and Melanie's denial of Jenny's true feelings. Or the simple fact that she could have such emotions at this young age. Her mumbled "thanks" as Brian breezed past her seemed inconsiderate and lame.

Watching Brian disappear up the small set of stairs, just off the laundry room leading up to the second floor bedrooms, Lindsay slowly picked up the three bowls, piling them on top of each other.

Something on the wall, across from where she was standing, caught her eye. She paced toward a series of framed photographs that donned a space beside the built-in oven. Closing her eyes, Lindsay sent a silent apology off to a long-lost, distant friend.

"Oh, Michael…" She reached out to touch the gentle, smiling features displayed… holding tightly; loving and kissing his baby girl. She brought her hand back as if the picture would catch on fire from her skin. She placed her palm on her bosom, her heart racing. "Oh, Jenny… what have we done to you?"

The question was pronounced too softly to become noticeable, but many were already too aware of the answer.

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

Brian lightly rapped his knuckle on the door first, only entering when he heard the soft reply of acceptance to his knock.

" _Hello?_ " Brian pushed the door open fully with the tip of his expensive shoes.

Entering Jenny's domain always made him feel an inadequacy of sorts. Everything was tinier, more pastel colored than he liked and too feminine for his tastes. He slipped his shoes off to make himself feel comfortable. He didn't know how much of a neat freak Jenny had become in such a short time of being gone. She was a girl and the daughter of Melanie Marcus… just being born gave her a good reason to breathe fire.

Jenny wasn't on the bed. " _Brian?_ "

"Jen? Honey… where _are_ you?" _Closet?_ Brian turned his head and didn't see any slats to hear her voice so clearly, yet muffled.

" _What are you doing here?_ "

Brian half-smirked. She was certainly showing the inbred genes of her father at this moment. "Jenny… it's Gus' birthday. It's _one_ of the reasons I'm here. In Toronto."

Jenny made a sound like she had called Brian a "dummy". "I know why you're here- _ **here**_ … but why are you _here --_ _in my room_? The party is in the yard."

"I brought you food, so you wouldn't dwindle down to nothing. Jen… are you gonna come out?"

"Why? Do they need me?"

"Jenny…" Brian had checked every available nook-n-cranny for signs of Jenny. All except under her bed. He bent low to end up on his knees. He lifted the ruffle around the shape of her twin mattress. "… is there something wrong with the top of your bed?"

Jenny rolled her eyes. "I don't--”

" _Feel well?_ " Brian grabbed a random stuffed animal on the floor, deciding to use it as a soft pillow for his head.

"That's what Mommy _thinks_."

"No…" Brian let his body fall forward to rest his upper torso on the floor, laying facedown on the light yellow carpet. He rested his cheek on the stuffed animal's belly. "… that's what you've made them _believe_. But I know different."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, you don't." Jenny could do this for hours.

"Jenny… yes, I do." Brian was testing out his _parental_ -sounding voice.

"No, Brian… you don't! _No one does_. Jus'--” Jenny closed her eyes, letting out a deep sigh. "Go'way. Tell Mommy thanks for the snacks." She rolled over onto her right side, facing away from Brian. “I'll try eat them.”

Glancing over his shoulder, making sure the coast was clear, Brian flipped over onto his back, then began working his way under Jenny's bed. "Scoot over, Jen."

"Bri--" Jenny was slightly shocked by Brian's interruption in her solitude. She was nearly hit hard enough to roll back out on the other side of her bed. "There's no room."

"We'll _make_ room."

"I don't want you here." Jenny wished her voice sounded more sure of itself.

"Too bad. I'm _not_ leaving. _You_ _don't scare me_. I've brought us enough food to last a few days."

Jenny rolled onto her back, her left side laying on Brian's right arm. "I don' wanna scare you. I don'--"

" _You miss him._ "

"Huh?" Jenny sounded shocked, like someone had found out her secret.

"Your _father_."

Jenny got awful quiet.

"I know just how you feel."

"But you live close, don' you? How--?"

"Michael and I might live in the same town, but that doesn't mean we spend every _day_ together. He has a new family to take care of." Brian realized how that sounded for Jenny to hear. "He loves you… beyond words."

"Yeah... tha's what they say." Jenny sighed, letting her head lay back on the scrunched up pillow. "Is he _happy_ , Brian? Really?"

Brian felt like fabricating some truth, but being under the bed, _so close to Jenny and alone with her_ … he felt like being as honest as he tended to be. "No. Not really. I don't think." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm not really sure myself, honey."

Jenny rolled onto her left side, half-way cuddling to Brian's right side. He stretched out his arm for her to be surrounded by. "Is he sad… _a lot?_ _Like_ _ **me**_ _?_ "

Brian was finally able to look over at Jenny, catching those killer brown eyes of hers. He thought Michael's gaze knocked him off his feet, but Jenny's ripped his heart out and stomped on it. "Honey…" His hand came around and brushed the light raven curls at the back of Jenny's head. "… tell me what's going through your mind."

"I know Daddy loves me. You an' everybody tells me that."

"But?"

"Does he _want_ me anymore? Is he happy that I'm not there?"

Brian's other hand came up to cover his eyes in sharp pain. " _Oh, Jen… dear God…_ "

Jenny let her forehead fall forward hitting Brian's rib cage. "I's okay. I know."

"No, Jen… you _don't_ know the half of it." Brian snickered at how _adult_ Jenny tried to act and sound.

"I know _enuff_."

"I think--"

"...'m tir'd, Brian...'m tir'd of thinkin'." Jenny looked away unable to connect with Brian's eyes. “I don' get anythin' if I think.”

"What _do_ you want?"

"I'm four. I don' know anythin'."

"Jenny… you're like how I was at your age."

Jenny lifted her head and gazed across toward Brian, watching his profile. "You couldn't see your Daddy?"

Brian shook his head, not sure what portion of the truths in his childhood Jenny would understand. "My father never wanted me. And… I'm not quite sure my mother cared if she had me or not."

Jenny blew out a long breath, closing her eyes slowly, then opening them to stare at Brian, concentrating. "Didja ever wanna be somewheres else?”

"Like different parents?"

"Yup... sorta..."

"Sure. Lots of times."

"A diff'rent Mom an' Dad?"

"Maybe. Now that I think about it…" Brian continued to gaze at the underside of Jenny's twin mattress. “... I'm not so sure.”

"Why?"

"Because."

"... 'cuz why?"

"… 'cuz..." Brian twisted his head around to look directly at Jenny, the youth of Michael overflowing from her easy presence. "… had _one thing_ changed about my life, I never would have met your Dad."

"Really?"

"Yup." Brian scratched at his chin, delving deeper in thought. "One element of my upbringing off-kilter and I'm not certain I would've even been who I am now."

"Daddy's bes' frien'? Or Gus' Daddy?"

"Alive." Brian reached out to brush back a wayward lock of Jenny's fly-away hair.

Jenny sighed heavily, shaking her head. She let her gaze drop, her little mind racing with too many unanswered questions. "You love Daddy? A lot?"

"Sometimes more than my own happiness."

"Ben?"

Brian raised a curious eyebrow, instantly going tense. "Ben? What _about_ him?"

"You like 'im?" Jenny reached out her hand, her fingers tentatively picking at Brian's soft cotton shirt.

"Ben makes your Dad happy."

"You _like_ him?" Jenny asked again because she hadn't heard a “yes” or a “no”.

Brian sighed, turning his head back to look up. "I _heard_ the question, Jenny."

"I don' like yur ans'er, Brian."

"If I told you my _real feelings_ , I might need a Parental Advisory sticker."

".. 'kay... 'm gonna say sumthin'... promise not to tell Daddy?"

Brian smirked as he waited patiently. "I'll try to contain myself."

"I wanna like Ben..." Jenny sidled closer to Brian, almost tucking her head into his shoulder. “... I don' think he _likes_ me.”  


Brian wasn't surprised to hear this fact, still didn't make it any easier to swallow and not want to choke the Professor. "Babies are easier to love for some people. At your age… somewhere beyond the Terrible Twos… once you grow into what we adults call a `personality'…that's scary for most people. Benjamin can't stand for anyone to be smarter than him, he likes it even better if they're dumb as plywood."

"Brian?" Jenny rested her chin on Brian's shoulder joint, tucking her hand in between his arm and torso.

"Hmm?"

"Why won' Daddy come see me?"

"...' _See you_ ' like how often I come and see Gus, you mean?"

"Did Ben say sumthin' to make Daddy mad at me?" Jenny was moving her head closer to Brian's almost taking a place on the stuffed animal's belly he had been using as a pillow.

"No, Jen. Come on. That's ridiculous. Ben knows how much you mean to your father. He would nev--" Brian stopped speaking, realizing he was attempting to negate what Jenny had _obviously_ been feeling for quite some time. "What happened, honey?"

"When Daddy an' Hun'er were here, i's weird... Daddy was home for a longlonglong time an' Ben got upset. Daddy call'd Ben... then Hun'er... 'm not allow'd in the room when Daddy calls Ben, but I snuck in...”

Brian shut his eyes, bringing his hand up to cover the little hand on his chest. Jenny seemed to need the contact of his skin to be reassured. He could only imagine what Jenny had overheard. "When we listen to other people talking about us, it's rarely good to hear. Do you know… that's how I found out how much my father hated me? My mother was louder and quite obvious about her feelings."

Jenny cuddled her lower body closer into Brian's side. "They hurt you?"

 _How come it felt so easy and comforting to open up this much with Jenny, than anyone else?_

 

"Do you mean 'lay their hands on me'-kind-of 'hurt me'?" He felt Jenny nod her head, vigorously. "My father came close to injuring me permanently. My mother smacked me around, pushed me down once or twice. It was their words to me that hurt the most, though."

"No big brother? Like Gus?"

“No, but I wish I had one.” Brian let a small smile slip out. "Nope, I had a scathingly catty older sister who hated the very idea that I breathed the same air she did."

Jenny was almost completely curled about Brian. "You like 'em?”

Brian leaned his cheek on top of Jenny's raven curls. "Honey, I have recently come to this conclusion… it's not the simple question of liking or loving anymore. It's become… _do I like them enough to care?_ More than that, _do I love myself enough to find it deep within my heart to forgive them… all the wrongs they've done me?_ "

Jenny smooshed her face into Brian's shirt. "I didn' mean it."

"Mean _what_?"

"Not wantin' you here. I didn' mean it." Jenny shook her head, emphatically, against Brian's body. "I say words out loud I don' like."

"I know, honey." Brian pressed a gentle kiss to Jenny's head. "I really do understand what you're going through with your Dad."

"I know." Jenny brought her face around to lay her cheek on Brian's shoulder. "You tol' me."

"No, I haven't. Not really." Brian wiggled out of Jenny's grasp, working his body to situate himself on his right side, facing Jenny. "Can I tell you something special? Just between us? I don't want your Dad finding this out, either."

Jenny moved to lay on her left side, facing Brian. She lifted her tiny body to level her eyes with Brian's steady gaze. She squiggled closer as if her best girlfriend was gossiping at her slumber party. "'m lis'enin'."

"I've known Michael, your father, since we were fourteen."

"That older than Gus?"

"Yes. Four years older."

"Really?" Jenny seemed shocked that it was close to Gus' age.

"Yeah, we both were quite young when we met and became best friends."

"… hmm... how old _are_ you?" Jenny was asking quite honestly.

Brian felt slightly vain and self-conscious. " _ **OLD-er.**_ "

"Young like, uh... Mimi Debbie?"

"Yeah… much, _much_ younger." Brian chuckled deeply, marveling how sincerely Jenny stared at him as she sunk into his genuine laughter. "Anyway… here comes the extra-special, super-duper secret…" He said absolutely nothing afterwards.

Jenny smirked, dipping her head as if she had gone deaf. "Huh?"

Brian had a grand opportunity to bring back an old characteristic of he and Michael's old friendship, something that had disappeared without either of them knowing. He tipped his head toward Jenny's, meshing their foreheads. "I've _**loved**_ him since then… since we were fourteen. Always have, always will.”

Jenny felt instantly comforted by the simple touch of Brian's forehead, feeling his warm breath on her face. "Like **I** love _Daddy_?"

"No… _different_."

"Like **I** love _Gus_? _Hun'er_?"

"No… _a little more different_." Brian slowly shook his head, his skin tingling from the contact with Michael's daughter, as if he was reaching out to the child inside of Michael.

"Like…" Jenny grew silent, trying to think up more versions to explain Brian's love for her father, but became lost.

"Like… Lindsay loves your Mommie… like Ben and Michael love one another… like you will eventually… and hopefully… love your… hus-…" Brian realized he was subjecting Jenny to a pattern that she would have to decide on for herself. "… your, uh-potential romantic partner in the future. The way- _way_ future."

Jenny was silent. Silent for much too long, letting everything Brian said sink in.

"Jenny?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?" Brian thought her total silence meant he had put her in a state of shock. She looked all right, not much to go by since she was still too young to develop much in emotions and body language.

"I feel…"

"What?"

"You'r sad too. Daddy let you go too… didn' he? An' this makes you sad, like me?" Jenny lifted one dark eyebrow, just like her father usually did to ask her questions.

Brian bowed his head and began to quietly shed tears he never thought he could. Not since the bombing of Babylon, when he thought Michael was gone from his life forever. He felt Jenny's fingers in his newly shorn hair, caressing and brushing through the tangles. He buried his head in her cotton/wool blend robe and nightgown, holding onto her tiny body so tightly that he never wanted to let her go. He knew what questions Jenny might have later for him.

Certainly the one question he couldn't answer on his own… how had Michael's love escaped from his grasp without him ever letting go?

 **~~TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

 

"He's happy."

"Huh?" Brian became distracted by Jenny's simple inquiry from a few minutes ago, when they had been laying under her bed frame.

"Gus. Down there. Look…" Jenny's little fingertip pressed hard on the window. "Watch 'im."

Jenny and Brian were seated on the window sill's benchseat. Brian placed himself on one side, leaning back against the wall, a curtain shadowing his left arm. He had drawn up one knee on the soft cushion. Jenny was sitting Indian style, a few inches down from where his foot rested, glancing down at the full view she had of the family home's backyard.

Amazing, Brian thought, that someone who had so many people in her life could look so alone.

Jenny's eyes never wavered off her older brother's activities. She raised up to her knees, leaning over the back cushions toward the chilled pane of glass.

“I don't know how to explain it, honey.” Brian wouldn't dare stop watching Jenny, knowingly too overprotective. "He's always been this way. All I know is that it's certainly been none of _my_ doing."

Jenny grew silent, eyes clearly pinned on _something_ in the yard. "Wha's wrong wit' me?" She choked out, her lips pouting. A small fist pushed against the low portion of her belly.

Brian would have laughed at the utter absurdity, but Jenny's tone, even at her young age, seemed way-too serious and heartfelt. "Nothing, Jenny." He wasn't about to over-gloss the subject by telling her she was "completely perfect". That kind of compliment gave her absolutely no where to go, but down. If she felt this way, and had for quite awhile, Brian silently vowed he would try his best to walk her back from the darkness. "How often do they leave you alone, up here?"

Jenny suddenly swiveled her head around, her arm quickly moved to wipe under her eyes. "Did I git 'em in trouble? Will Daddy an' Ben be more angry wit' me?"

Brian shook his head. _Fuck!_ His timing had always been shitty, but for some reason he knew _this time_ he might have caught the problem early enough. What he really wanted to do was bundle Jenny into a pile of blankets, run away with her and somehow reunite father with daughter on their own. "Nobody knows _anything_ at the moment. If you want, we can keep this...” He circled one index finger between them. “... to ourselves We can figure it out by ourselves. But you have to promise me something..."

"What?" Jenny sat back down, her attention fully given to Brian.

"You gotta promise me that whenever you start to feel like _this_ …” Brian made a tiny gesture to her belly, over the puffed out nightgown material. “... that you come find me. Okay? _Any_ time, _any_ place. On the phone or in person. I'm always here for you. Call me… I'll come running from wherever I am."

Jenny's mouth nearly dropped open. The moisture pooling in her eyes. She had truly thought no one cared, nor was anyone coming to help her. "What if--?" She already thought Brian had done enough.

" ' _ **What If**_ ' _what_ , Jenny?" Brian reached out his hand, palm up.

"What if.." Jenny grabbed for the hand, like it was a lifeline. Her tiny fingers squeezing Brian's together. She pulled the hand to her chest. "… I don' want you to ever go?" When she caught Brian's gaze, one tear escaped down her cheek. "Now. Today. Not ever… never-ever…" Her last word was strangled out on the second falling tear.

" _Oh, Jenny… honey… come here…_ " Brian didn't care anymore about how he looked. He yanked Jenny onto his lap, burrowing her close into his chest. She was holding onto him like she was fearful of falling.

Brian quietly wondered if this was what Michael had felt like having pulled him back, so many times, from drowning in his own misery. His own tears began to build quick and fall, disappearing into Jenny's hair as she silently sobbed into his shirt. Her little fists bunching in the soft material. He knew what he needed to do, _right this moment_.

Reaching into his trouser pocket, Brian pulled out his slim phone, pressing one key. The numbers dialed fast, the phone rang once.

"Red Cape. Michael speaking. How can I help you?"

"Mikey?" Brian leaned his head back on the wall, the wetness on his face feeling cool on his heated skin.

"Brian, what--?" Michael's Kinney-sense kicked into high gear. " _What is it? What's wrong?_ "

"I'm here. I'm in Canada. Toronto."

"Gus' birthday, I know. We picked out his present together."

"No. Like always…" Brian lifted a numbing arm to pinch the bridge of his nose and concentrate on how he had to make this phone call last and keep Michael on the line. "… you chose it for me."

"Always the kid at heart, you know?" Michael could still hear something tinged in Brian's voice.

The long silence allowed Michael to pick up the faint sounds of a child's sobs.

"Brian…" Michael's voice became eerily shaky. "… _sweetie_ … what is it? What's wrong? You're scaring me." He swallowed with some difficulty, a hand clamped into a fist over his heart. "Is Gus okay?"

"He's fine. Happy as any birthday boy should be." Brian dragged Jenny up his body, offering her his shirt sleeve to wipe at her eyes to compose herself. " _He_ isn'twhy I'm calling."

"Then why are you…?" Michael couldn't believe he had become so dense, but shock would do that to people. "Brian…"

"Michael… hold on…" Brian held out the phone to Jenny. "Come on, honey…"

  
"Brian, I can't--” Michael pursed his lips tight, already aware of whom Brian would be putting on his cell phone. Someone he wouldn't be capable of talking to these days without bawling, either.

"I'm here. I told you I wouldn't leave you." Brian sifted his fingers through Jenny's drenched bangs. “I know you can do this.”

Michael sat on the other end of the line, silently. He motioned for one of his new part-time employees to come take his spot behind the counter. He made his way toward the back room. He moved to sit behind his desk, spinning the chair around to face the wall. "Come on, Jenny…" He quietly cheered his daughter along. "... please, talk to Daddy."

Jenny reluctantly took the phone, putting it to her ear. "Hi…"

Michael's hand went to his mouth, stemming emotions. "Hey, baby… you having fun with Brian? Did you have a piece of Gus' cake?" He knew acting like things we square and A-okay would set Jenny off. She was such a sensitive child. The separation from her sure didn't help.

"Daddy…" Jenny raised her watering eyes toward Brian. "… I don' feel so good." She nearly whined, in tears, over the phoneline.

Brian pressed a quick kiss to Jenny's sweaty brow.

"Yeah… are you sick to your stomach?"

"Yea… No… Yea… I don' know…" Jenny shook her head, closing her eyes tight. "I love you, Daddy."

Michael wiped at the lone tear falling from his eye. "I know, Jenny. I love you, too." He knew there was something more.

"I miss you… _sososososo_ much…" Jenny could barely say the words. "When you comin' home? Did I do sumthin' wrong?"

Michael swept his palm over his face. _God Damn!_ Leave it to a child, especially his own, to get to the heart of the problem. "No, honey… it's me."

"You?" Jenny's seemed to have lost her wobbly voice.

"I can't--" Michael didn't know if it was right of him to say this over the phone to his young daughter. "I can't bear seeing you, then having to leave. It hurts too much to keep letting you go."

"Daddy… I don' like it... but I don' like never seein' you... at all."

Michael kept nodding his head, in total agreement, but he couldn't tell that to Jenny. He furrowed his brow in curiosity. "Why do you think it was something you did?"

"Ben said--"

"Wha-? What did Ben say?" Michael's voice became heavily frustrated.

"Ben said... _**me or him?**_... _right?_ "

"When did he do this?" Michael was going to work out some anger over Ben when he got home after he found out what exactly occurred.

"Last time at home, wit' Hun'er... Ben said... 'Jenny or me'... on the phone... an' then-an' then you said to Hun'er Ben wuz sayin' stuff... 'bout the trips in the car to come home to me. I wuz--” Jenny was trying to recall everything she had overheard.

"… ' _causing a rift in our marriage_ '...” Michael closed his eyes in silent misery, now understanding that he would have to start closing doors around Jenny. He rubbed at a sore spot on his brow. “... sweetie, that was something Ben said to get me upset. He wanted me home, because he missed me. He didn't mean them. I swear."

"But he said 'em. To you... 'bout me... an' then--"

"I left." Michael knew with children, they took things at face value. They didn't know from common sense and innuendos. Things truly meant and things left unsaid.

"An' never came back..."

"Jenny, I didn't mean for you to hear all that."

"I know. 'm four... 'm not s'pos'd to know anythin'." Jenny became sleepy, laying her body and head down on Brian's chest and torso. "Daddy?"

"Yeah, Jenny?"

"Can **I** come see _you_? At your house? I's still there?"

Michael had to chuckle, as if a room in a house was easy to give away to any random stranger. He heard Brian's light chuckle along with his own. "Jenny, give me to Brian."

"Daddy?" Jenny still hadn't heard an answer to her questions.

"Jenny, give the phone back to Brian and you'll see what kind of magic I can work." Michael sat back in his chair, waiting for Brian's voice to come over the line. He loved hearing the interaction between his best friend and his daughter.

"Daddy wan's to talk to you."

"What does he want to talk to me about? You didn't get me in trouble, did you?" Brian took his phone back, hugging Jenny close. "Hello? I'm innocent and nothing is my fault."

"You might be right this time."

"Michael, look--" Brian tired to find one word to apologies for a thousand wrongs being done to his daughter.

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything?"

"Can you--?"

“Yes.” Brian didn't even let Michael finish. "I'd be happy to bring your daughter home to you."

Michael snickered, wiping his brow. "I was only going to ask you if you'd talk to Mel and Linds for me… and then **I** would come get her. You don't have to--."

"I know I _don't_ , but listen to me... I'm here, she's with me… you might as well put me to good use."

"So you'll talk to Mel?"

"No. What I'll do is talk some sense into these hard-headed women. They'll comply once they realize what could've happened."

Michael bit his top lip. "How bad was it?"

"Came close to one of my old bad days."

Michael was speechless. "You're shittin' me?"

"I shit not. Minus the drunken, drugged gay sex with anonymous men."

Michael had to laugh. "You love me this much to put your ass on the line of fire for me?"

Brian was stunned into silence. But he decided instead of answering, he'd change the subject. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"In all these years… _the things I've put you through_ … _the many times you picked me up when I was down_ … did I ever once 'thank you'?" Brian felt the uncomfortable silence follow his words, so he filled it with nonsense. "Love is kinda simple… easily said, easily abused and battered… but did I ever shake your hand in thanks?"

Michael shut his eyes. Where was this Brian Kinney coming from? And where had he been all this time? "You knew it wasn't needed, Brian."

"Yeah, right. It was always _understood_. But didn't you ever wish you could hear me say it without you knowing it was coming?"

"Brian, if you bring Jenny to me… we'll be square."

"No we won't. I owe you…"

"Don't, Brian."

" _Everything_. Maybe even _my life_."

"Jenny Rebecca is _my everything_ … she's _my life_ …"

"Then maybe I'm finally on the right track."

"The right track to _where_?" Michael raised a curious eyebrow in puzzlement.

"Back to you. Back to us. The way we used to be."

"Brian, we've changed. We've grown up. We've loved, we've lost. This was inevitable."

"NO."

"Yes."

"We… were different."

"I'm married."

"You're husband is an ass."

Michael couldn't help but chuckle from the truth. "Brian, that's not fair."

"Fair? Yes, please and thank you. Let's chit-chat about fairness."

"Brian… not now. I should get back to work."

"Take an early lunch."

"You are not the boss of me."

"You'd like me to boss you around."

"In your dreams."

"Every night, Mikey."

Michael had trouble swallowing. "You haven't called me 'Mikey' in years."

"Maybe it's time things changed."

"Maybe you need to take a cold shower."

"Maybe I need to show you how much you really mean to me and that without you I'd be nothing."

"Did Gus kick you in the head?"

"No. Blame Jenny." Brian reached to down to caress the sleeping features laying on his chest. He brought Jenny up in order to be able to rest his cheek on top of her head. "You have a very persuasive daughter."

"Oh? Really? Did she make you confess some long buried deep dark secret?" Michael had only meant it as a tease.

"Yes... she did."

"Brian…" Michael's voice took on a reprimanding tone.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, Mikey. The secret is safely tucked away again. I'll never tell."

"Brian…"

"What?" Brian was immediately caught unawares, but soon became conscious of what Michael might say next. "No… don't you dare."

"There are no words for what you're doing for me. For Jenny."

"It's what we do, huh? You and I."

"What?"

"It's how we take care of each other. We're there for one another, no matter what."

"For awhile there, Brian… _you weren't_."

"I was hijacked. My brain lobotomized."

"Into _what_? And by _whom_?"

"That really doesn't matter anymore. I'm not letting you go again. I nearly lost you once and that--"

"Put you in your place?"

"Scared the piss outta me… was how I would've said it." Brian realized they were about to spiral down into some clowning around on the phone if he didn't end the talk soon. "What are you going to do with Ben?"

Michael cleared his throat, suddenly coming to terms that Brian might hang up. Their contact broken by phone lines and voice recognition, but their emotional connection never broken. "Nothing. My daughter's coming home. That's all he needs to know."

"I'm not going to be bringing her into a hostile environment, am I Michael?" Brian wanted to be assured that he wasn't about to drag Jenny halfway from everything she knew into another depressive situation.

"You leave Ben to me, Brian. You take care of Jenny and bring her home to me."

"I will. Just like--"

"You took care of me. I know."

"Sometimes you _don't_ know, Michael… but there's always time."

"For _what_?"

"Anything resembling happiness."

"Be safe."

"Be patient. This might take me a few days."

"I have faith in you."

"Is that all you feel?"

"There's more…"

"But you're too shy to admit feelings out loud."

"No, Brian. I don't want to hurt you."

"Please… your kinda torture I can bear."

"Liar."

"Most marriages, in five years or less, end in divorce."

"Quit, Brian. I'm not listening."

"You will… eventually. How 'bout this… most long-lasting relationships, which could be considered marriages, once began as best friendships."

"I'm hanging up now."

"Not before I do." And Brian did just that.

" _ **BASTARD!**_ " Michael yelled at his phone, quickly redialing. He had been so distracted he forgot one more thing.

Brian answered in half of one ring, like his finger was already on the SEND button. _"Thank you for calling Moviephone. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see… please hang on the line."  
_  
"Don't leave her side, Brian."

Brian swallowed the lump in his throat. He was being given a mission he'd already sworn to uphold. "I wouldn't dare tempt your wrath, Mr. Novotny."

"I'll deal with you when I see you… you know…" Michael tried to sound menacing, but it simply wasn't in him to do, even as a joke. "… whenever you make it back home… to me." He didn't think he could love Brian more than at this very moment, but he knew that was impossible. He had said that very thing many times, to himself, already and been outdone, more in love than he could imagine. "Bye, Brian."

"Sleep tight, Mikey. She's safe with me."

"I know. I know just how she feels."

Michael was the one to hang up this time.

Brian couldn't help but let the smile slip out. He knew he still had _**it**_. Michael's love had never wavered, but something else had slipped on by him. Possibly his trust and some respect… a worn battered soul who was in need of some simple reassurance of a love that had never dissolved, but had gone into hibernation. Once he was back in Pittsburgh, Brian knew the time had come to be up front and as honest had he could be.

For Jenny. For Michael. And maybe even for his own sanity and heartache.

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

Brian had done his best. He waited until Jenny was safely tucked in bed, Gus happily engrossed in some new video games and the girls both available to talk about some serious issues. He decided he'd take the discussion into the kitchen.

There was something comforting and inviting about a kitchen in a well-lived home.

Brian took a seat at the kitchen nook table, watching Lindsay and Melanie flutter about the room, periodically washing dishes and packing away the leftover food.

"How long are you staying?" Lindsay asked, wiping her hands down her hips, straightening her sweatshirt.

"Not long. Maybe one more day or so. If you'll allow me one favor."

"What?" Lindsay asked, while Melanie shut off the water she had filled the sink with.

"What's he want now?"

Brian didn't acknowledge Melanie's jab at him. "For once, it's not about me. It's about what's good for Jenny right now."

Lindsay was sprung into action, coming over to sit across from Brian at the table. "Did you find out what was _really_ bothering her?"

"Yes."

"What?" Both Melanie and Lindsay asked at the same time. They sent soft smiles toward one another.

Brian rolled his eyes and pressed on. "She's lonely."

"That's ridiculous." Melanie barked out.

"She's been given every opportunity to make friends and be a part of this family." Lindsay tried to make excuses for what they had tried to do to make Jenny happier.

Brian nodded his head to both their comments. "Great. You can run out tomorrow and buy her a shitload of matching outfits for all her friends and family." He was perturbed they were initially laced with such a ring of selfishness. "Have you sat her down

 

 _once_

 

and just…

 

 _I don't know_

 

… had a conversation with her?"

"Plenty of times. We talk tot he kids all the time, especially when we're eating dinner." Lindsay came to their defense. “She never said one word.”

"Really? Did either of you listen without passing judgment on her because you think she's too young to know true sorrow… sadness or… better yet… _depression_?" Brian sat back in his chair, looking between both Melanie and Lindsay. When neither of them answered, he chose to press on and get this over with. "Well, I'm here to tell you that it can happen at _any_ age, at _any_ moment. If you're not prepared for the kind of emotion surfacing, you can miss it. Then it becomes intertwined within all that other muckety-muck she'll go through as she grows up. And then you have…" He stretched his hands out. "… a female version of _**me**_."

Lindsay sighed heavily, wiping at her brow. "It has something to do with Michael, doesn't it?"

Melanie's mouth opened to speak and defend herself as the _mother_ of Jennifer Rebecca. "I've let Michael come here as often as you do, Brian. He _chooses_ to stay away."

Brian sat with his mouth open, not believing Melanie just used that as her best reasoning. "But this isn't about Michael, Mel." He chopped his hand on the table to show points in his speech. "You two moved for plenty of good reasons you devised in your own minds at the time. I get that. I support that, but you have to realize something. Eventually, these two children you've dragged up here, far from their homes… will grow up to have their own opinions and thoughts. Jenny's just… more advanced than some."

Lindsay reached out her hand, over the table top. "What's _really_ bothering her, Brian?" All she wanted was for Jenny to be all right.

"She blames herself for Michael leaving, for staying away as long as he has. For his choice in remaining in Pittsburgh. She feels guilty because every time her father comes up here to visit, his life shatters more and more down in the old boonies and his marriage quite possibly could dissolve right before his eyes."

Lindsay put her hand over her mouth. "We had no idea." She got up from her chair to pace, suddenly sure that she had some idea this might be what had been wrong all along, but knowing this wasn't a very popular opinion in this household.

"We're not to blame for what's happening beyond our reach." Melanie crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back on the kitchen counter top. "How were we supposed to know the fallout would rise years later?"

Brian shook his head. "Nobody's blaming you two for moving, but… _I'm sorry_ … you two have fucked up royally where Jenny's concerned."

"That's really unfair, Brian." Melanie snickered out in a flinch of air.

"A fuck-up is a fuck-up, Mel. Deal with it. It's what comes with being a parent. There are consequence for your actions and these… _sadly, yes_... are them."

"Don't you dare tell me how to be a parent, Brian Kinney!!" Melanie used her parental index finger to make her points toward Brian.

"I wouldn't dare teach you a damn thing… except how to be a human being. Currently you have a young daughter close to meltdown mode." Brian glanced between both women, sure he had their attention about now. "When I was her age, times were different and the world was something larger that made me stronger. There were possibilities beyond my rotten home life and I saw potential in myself." He shrugged his shoulders. "Today… there's no telling what can make or break a child. Even the simplest of worries can make a child feel… inadequate… lonely… separate from the pack… miserable… not worthy of living."

"Christ, Brian… she's only

 

 _four_

 

."

Brian wiped a hand over his exhausted face, moving the palm around to rub at the back of his neck. He could do with a good massage, feeling a headache rush his system. " _Wake the fuck up, Melanie!_ Age today is simply a number. No one, not even our ever-faithful God Almighty cares. Girls Jenny's age, in inner cities, see young men in their neighborhoods gunned down every day ; someone in middle America feels that the pure innocence of their four-year old niece is what gets their rocks off ; My God, there are hundreds of hospital beds with four-year-olds battling deathly lymphomas and metastatic cancers hour by hour. And you _**dare**_ to simplify an excuse for abandoning your daughter's needs… _just because she's_ _ **four**_."

Melanie had to walk away, quietly letting tears fall in the corner. She used the dishtowel to dry her wet eyes. She _knew_ it. Why did Brian have to be the person making sense this time?

Lindsay moved about, ready to run and comfort Melanie. "That's _enough_ , Brian."

"What? Am I coming dangerously close to being kicked off the island? Shuffled out of the Big Brother household?"

"Brian… stop." Lindsay flattened her hand in the air. She took a deep breath, wanting to calm the tension building in the room. "What do you suggest we do?"

" _Give her to me._ " Brian let the words slip out so easily, knowing full well that he wouldn't change one request. He had to think about Jenny, no one else.

" _ **What??!!**_ " Melanie screeched.

 **~~TBC...**


	3. Chapter 3

 

Lindsay lifted her head up. "Calm down, Mel. I think I know what he means." She turned back to face Brian. "You've talked with Michael? He knows that something is wrong with Jenny?" 

Brian concentrated his eyes solely on Lindsay. "He wants her to come home to him, in Pittsburgh. He's not sure if his marriage will hold strong, one more second, if he makes another long trip to stay with Jenny."

"Ben knows he's welcome to stay here, as well." Melanie tried to make some way-too random solutions to one big, major problem.

Brian shook his head in sadness. "Do you even _hear_ yourself? Do you know what Ben has built for himself... his career... his life at the college he's at... his home with Michael? How dare you think he can just uproot everything for _**you**_. You're the one who ran out of town, scared of all the hate-mongers and gay-bashers, **Mel** … not Gus, not Jenny. You ran off; they were forced to tag along."

"You and Michael could have fought for your rights." Melanie tried to force the words out of her own mouth, not sure she believed what she was saying anyway.

Brian put out his hands. "And what exactly would that have proved? How _manly_ we are above and beyond you _women_? Created more paper trails through the shitty court systems? Placed a bridge so long and broad between every one of us… that Gus and Jenny can't even fathom who the hell their real parents are? Or where they live." He stood up out of his chair. "No… thank you."

"Brian, keep your voice down."

"Why? I'm fairly sure Gus and Jenny have been privy to quite a few of Mel's tirades more than once or twice over the years."

"That's not the point."

"Then _what is the point_ , Linds, huh?" Brian turned on Lindsay, walking toward her, around the table. "What's the point of having children if all your gonna do is bend, shape and mold them into mini-replicas of yourselves? And what do you do with them when they won't comply? When they can't meet or don't follow through on your expectations? Can you two deal with an emotionally wrought child? Can you two _be there_ for her, like she needs? Can you even find it in your hearts to give her _what_ she really wants?"

Melanie threw down her dishtowel, walking back to the sink. "I find it totally fucked that I have to stand here and listen to Brian 'Fuck-Em-All' Kinney preach to me about parenting."

"While I don't see how my sexuality is of any importance, in this case, I find it truly appalling that a woman… nay, a _lawyer_ of your experience can't see through to your daughter's pain and understand what she needs." Brian shrugged his shoulders, deeply sighing. "No, I'm not trying to tell you how to _do_ anything you shouldn't _already_ know. What I'm trying to do is make you discover what not to do. How not to be the kind of shitty parents I had to bear with in my life."

" _Shit!_ This oughta be good."

"Mel, be quiet for once." Lindsay put Melanie in her place.

" _Excuse me?_ " Melanie wasn't sure she heard what had come out of Lindsay's mouth.

"Brian's right." Lindsay nodded her head at Melanie's stunned expression. "Shockingly, yes, it can be true."

"No he's not." Melanie shook her head in denial.

"Okay then… tell me, now that we know what's really bothering JR… _what would you do?_ " Lindsay leaned her hip on the back of her chair.

"I, uh…" Melanie didn't know how to take all this in, much less how to control what was probably spiraling out of her hands.

Brian slowly approached Melanie in a calm manner that bespoke of his care and concern for Jenny. "We're not asking you to hand over custody, Mel. By no means. Get this, though… can you see yourself sacrificing the time and patience to handle _this_ … while we're good and ready with Jenny being receptive to intrusion into her mind? Or are we going to let it fester until we can't get her back? I'm not claiming to have worked a miracle, but I got her to talk, to open up about her problem. She's figured it out on her own too. She'll be determined to find Michael with or without your help."

Melanie had one last jab at her once sworn enemy. “Are you proud of yourself, Brian?”

" _Excuse me?_ " Brian raised an eyebrow in perplexity.

"You've won, again. You got one more leverage over me."

"Mel, I hate to break this to you, but I'm not doing this _for you_ … _or me_. As pleasing as this kind of victory would be… Jenny's more important than you. As she should be for you."

Melanie took the quiet jab at her pride in stride. "Then why do this at all?" She didn't understand what Brian would get out of helping Jenny.

"Because… despite what you may think, I can care about more than myself. I _do_ have a heart and I _am_ fully capable of unselfish acts, once or twice every ten years or so." Brian lifted one end of his mouth to smirk, telling Melanie she could never defeat him when he was in the kind of mood he was in right now. He had a purpose and it went beyond pleasing Melanie.

Lindsay stepped closer to Brian. "Brian, we know you love Jenny as much as we do."

Brian had to take a few seconds to ponder that statement, because he found such trite selfishness in its grace. He turned his head to look off to the side. "Both of you… know how hard I am at feelings, how difficult it is for me to say the words. But what you don't know is that when I do love… I give everything I have. Neither of you have any idea the capacity I have to love another person. But, if you don't mind, I'll let you in on a little secret. Helping Jenny come out of this, intact, is more than likely going to help me. Not the adult you see before you, but the child who never got to be one."

Lindsay turned her tear-filled eyes toward Melanie, who could barely lift her bowed chin.

The decision had already been made the minute Brian had taken that tray to Jenny. He had done what none of them had been able to do for months. And despite their inner protests, they had silently agreed to go along with whatever Brian thought was best. They would adhere with no complaints.

"How long?" Melanie wiped under her eyes, letting Lindsay venture close to her side.

"As long as Jenny needs… _and wants_."

Melanie nodded her head, closing her eyes tight.

Brian cleared his throat, glancing down at his watch and looking up at the wall clock. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to change for bed. I have a promise that must be kept." He nodded his head, slowly, toward the women, dashing off upstairs.

Lindsay sunk her body into Melanie's side. "We're doing the right thing, Mel."

" _Are we?_ _Even if it's ripping our fuckin' hearts out?!_ "

"Better ours, than JR's, Mel… wouldn't you say?" Lindsay tried to wrap her arm around Melanie's shoulders, but stopped.

"Yeah, I guess." Melanie's voice grew soft, she turned to drift back to the sink, a counter top full of dirty dishes waiting for her attention.

Lindsay knew that even the right choices sometimes felt wrong. What they had been doing hadn't felt right for much too long, the change would be nice in the house. The only thing Lindsay was sure of was that Jenny would be fine in the end, better than any of them had ever anticipated.

Jenny was about to soon find out how lucky a girl she truly was.

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

Ben tucked his chilled fingertips into his robe's pockets. He meandered down the hallway past the master bedroom, hearing sounds coming from the small bedroom off Hunter's room. He hadn't seen Michael for three hours since he locked himself in his office, intent on working on his next novel.

"Michael…" He pushed open the door, peering behind the framework to find Michael on his back, laying under Jenny's old baby crib. "… come to bed. You've been at this project for hours." He took off his glasses to place them in his robe pocket.

Michael glanced once at Ben, but proceeded to ignore the simple request. He continued to wrench the bolts with his pliers. "I promised one of the neighborhood ladies, Kelly, I'd have this ready to go for her by tomorrow. I've been putting it off for way-too long." He wiped his greasy hands on his already dirty jeans. His navy blue t-shirt riding up his mid-section, giving Ben a nice view of tight abs.

Ben moved a hand over his lips to stem the sweet smile, ready to become playful and tease his husband. There was something in the air keeping him from speaking his thoughts. "Is this _really_ necessary?" He rolled his wrist and conferred with the digital wall clock. "At this hour?"

"Jenny's coming home any day now. I'd like for her to believe I had always meant for her to stay with me at some point beyond being a newborn. Sides… the room's too crowded with this crib in the way." Michael tried again to pry the pieces of wood to separate as easily as he hoped.

Funny… how when he put this crib together, the damn thing never remain attached, but when it came time to take it apart… it decided to become a permanent fixture in itself.

Michael chuckled at the absurd thought, scratching at his sweaty brow.

Ben didn't like the vacant laughter in the air, feeling it was almost toward him and his constant nagging for Michael to act like a mature adult. "You really think Melanie and Lindsay would just… _hand_ Jenny over to you that easily?"

Michael paused, letting the pliers rest on his chest. He gazed intently toward Ben. "If what Brian says is true… then my answer is an emphatic… _**YES**_." He smirked, knowing Ben would cringe at the use of such a big, bad word for his community college level brain.

"Knowing Brian like you do, you don't think for once he could be exaggerating? Possibly making this seem more than it really is?"

"To _what_?" Michael pushed off from the wall, coming a little from under the crib. "Get in my jeans?"

Ben wiped a hand over his face. "That's not what I was asking."

"What do you want to know, Ben? Would you like to know about Jenny's cracked mental and emotional state? Or how about the fact that you, me and our constant bickering back-n-forth may have played a major role in this situation? Or that I actually listened to you, thinking you knew what was for the best, not once thinking that what we decided to do wouldn't cause her irreparable damage? Which one do you wanna talk about first?" Michael folded his hands over his mid-sternum, waiting for Ben's response.

Ben put out a hand, palm down, fingers spread. "I'm not gonna fight with you, Michael. Not before bed. I've apologized enough for what I might have done. What you think Jenny may have overheard. I can't say anything right to appease your anger. I get that. Let it go."

"There is no uncertainty, Ben. It is what it is. What's happened has happened. We can't go back and I'm not trying to. I wish you took a great appreciation to what we've done wrong. Despite our own feelings in our marriage and privately… we hurt someone else."

Ben swiftly turned to lean on the wall, shaking his head. "Brian must be sitting on Cloud 9."

"Huh?" Michael came out, completely, from under the crib.

"Look at you. Do you even _hear_ yourself sometimes? Brian asks you to jump through hoops and you say, ' _How high_ '."

Michael rolled his eyes, drawing his knees to his chest. "Not _this_ again."

"Don't think I haven't seen you cleaning up Hunter's bedroom. You think he's gonna come crawling back into your life? Maybe this time… into your bed."

"Don't…" Michael held out his pliers, directing them at Ben. "… even go there. I'd stop speaking if I were you and go back to bed." He lay down again to crawl under the crib, returning to work.

"It's as real as this gets, Michael. Whether you want to acknowledge it… the fact remains… you're still curious about Brian. And anything to get him in your clutches is all the better for you."

"G'night, Ben." Michael closed his eyes, trying to see the battered bolt through his watery eyes. How could Ben say such things to him? What had died inside Ben to make him keep sounding this bitter and nasty?

"Typical. Ignore the problem and it may, or may not, go away."

This time Michael came out and stood up. "Am I speaking another language? Or have you gone deaf? I told you to quit and go to bed."

"Why won't you admit it's there?"

"Because!" Michael shuffled the pliers in his grasp, wishing he had enough anger at Ben to throw something, punch something. "Because you aren't even willing to _help me_ _**help us**_ … and give our relationship… _our marriage_ … a fighting chance. A little fine tuning. I'm not expecting fucking perfection every god-damn day, but something's gotta be better than what we're doing these days." He threw the pair of pliers onto the crib mattress, walking around with hands on his lean hips.

"Maybe because I think the excruciating 'couple's therapy' you've put us through, time and time again, isn't what we _need_ right now."

"No… wait… you're so right. That _isn't_ what I need right now. What _I need_ …" Michael found his way back over to his tool box, rolled out in the dark cloth. "… is a flathead screw driver." He found what he needed and went back under the crib.

Ben pushed off the wall, his arms crossing over his chest. "You think this is a joke?"

"No, on the contrary, here's what I think, _if you're interested_ … you promised me you wouldn't get all flustered and weird when I went to visit my daughter. Instead you flipped out in such magnitude… you called me in the middle of a quiet family dinner, frantically upset that I would never be coming back to you. Figuring I had some kind of better offer from Jenny."

"Michael… your 'visit' quickly turned into a four week vacation."

Michael peeked his head from beyond the dark wood. "And this was bad… _how again?_ What exactly would I have been doing here, at home, since you had about a million teacher meetings, tons of paper grading to do and then your appointments with your publishers? Where would you have liked me to be… here at home, doing dishes, cooking your meals and eating Bon-Bons while watching soap operas? Excuse me for having a life of my own." He went back to being rough with trying to undo the bolts. They loosened on the twenty-fifth wrench of his wrist. " _Fuck! I hate this fuckin' shit!_ "

"Leave the crib for the morning, Michael."

"Please stop telling me what to do. I'm fully capable of knowing when I need to sleep… and when I can't be near you for one more minute without wanting to throttle your friggin' neck."

Ben easily gave up, halfway out the doorway. "Goodnight, Michael."

"You made me cave, Ben." Michael spoke softly, while under the crib, his legs sticking out, one drawn up to bend at the knee.

Ben paused, turning back around. "What was _that_?"

"We were having problems before I left to see Jenny. I told you I needed that time away… _from you_ … for myself and Jenny. You couldn't even allow me _that_. You panicked and begged me to come back here. You said things would be different. You promised me things would change." Michael sighed, making it look like he was giving up on taking the crib apart, but in actuality… he had only loosened the very bolts he needed to finally undo the crib's structure.

Ben realized quickly that it might serve better for his reputation, in Michael's eyes, to remain right where he was and listen closely. "They did… just like I said."

Michael hitched the wooden slats up and out. They came apart as easily as they had all those years ago. "Yeah… for, like, two months. Then we were back to the same old routine. You went your way and I waited for your next move. The minute things seemed like I was having something work out in my favor… _a little ray of light in my life_ … you had to come in and squash the joy right out of it. I made this house a home…" He carried the individual pieces over to a bare wall, stacking them as a pile. "… without you even realizing it. You made me chose _you_ over too many of the things I loved, trying to replace them. But… tell me… where did you go, huh? When I needed you? Where were you when I had to take every call from Jenny and explain to her why I couldn't come out to see her… this time… yet again? Any moment I seemed to even think about taking one step out of this house to see Jenny, you made it sound like we were done. Finito. So… foolishly… I stayed… and I let Jenny go, thinking things would improve. That you'd find it somewhere, deep down, in your heart to get over yourself about my daughter."

"I love Jenny. She's everything I love about you, Michael."

"You love her, like you love me? Poor girl." Michael snickered, rubbing his dirty hands on his jeans and shirt. "She never even had a chance."

Ben didn't know how to respond exactly. He watched Michael move about the room.

The easy grace he had of leaning over to turn on the tiny bedside lamp. The tender way he had of pulling back the soft cotton bed linens. The utter gentleness he had of caressing the newly washed material as if it had once contained the most precious of his loves.

How could Ben be so jealous of bed sheets, with no one in them?

"Michael…"

"Just… go, Ben. Go to bed." Michael sighed, turning to sit on Jenny's new twin bed. He simply stared straight ahead, Ben no longer on his mind… except to be _no more_ in the next few minutes of quiet solitude. He knew he had to say something to reassure Ben, something that gave him a shred of hope to light his way back. "I'm filthy. I'm gonna shower. I'll be in bed shortly."

"Mich-…"

"Ben… we're done here…"

"For now." Ben swiveled on his feet and left the room.

"… possibly… for good…" Michael unhooked his watch from his sweaty wrist, laying the timepiece on the tiny bedside table. He situated himself to fit on the twin mattress, loving the familiar springs along his back.

If only he had kept the Captain Astro sheets that once graced the bed. Stupidly, he had thrown them out, just like he had tried to do with much of his youth. At least the stuff that continued to remind him of Brian and what he had lost.

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

"Brian?"

"Jenny…"

"You 'sleep?"

"I was about to be." Brian flipped onto his back. "Not anymore."

"You can sleep up here."

"Uh, no thanks. I'm not gonna be treated like one of your pathetic stuffed animals kicked off the bed, shoved in a corner and left to wallow in the lower nether regions of your filthy, messy bedroom floor."

“... my room's not messy...”

Brian let a few crumpled balls of colored construction paper, near his head, sail over Jenny's bed. “No, of course not, Lady Jenny.” He savored every bit of laughter she let slip out. "I must have you confused with that _other_ little girl in this room. The dark, evil messy one."

"Brian?" Jenny lay on her back, arms akimbo on her mattress, stretching from side to side.

"Jenny…"

"Tell me a story."

"Honey, it's almost nearing midnight. Our flight is at nine. We need some shut eye."

"..'m not tir'." Jenny did sound energetic.

"Then… let me have my eight hours of beauty rest."

Jenny chuckled to think of a man needing rest for "beauty". "You don' hav' to _read_ one... _tell_ me one."

"Don't expect me to make one up on the spot. Your father and Ben are the talented writers of the family."

"… 'kay... what do you do?"

"To _whom_? Or… to _what?_ "

Jenny snickered, shaking her head at Brian's fluttering annoyance at her. "Your work, silly. Do you work?"

"I own my own company and… it's in a building."

"What do you do?"

"Jenny, do you really care? This is more like Dating 101 for amateurs. If you're interested, I make enough money to be… _comfortable_."

"You happy?"

"Go to sleep, Jenny."

"Why? Don' be upset."

"I'm not."

"Then... you're not happy?"

"Jenny…"

"Brian…"

"You can do this all night, can't you?"

"I's only a ques'ion."

"That's not the problem. The answer would scare you."

"...'m not scared. Of anythin'."

"I don't doubt that. Not even spiders?"

"Squish 'em.” Jenny made a squishing movement with her little hand, fingers to her palm. “Sumtimes I push 'em out the door.... set 'em free..."

"… monsters?"

"I don' like mons'ers... they don' scare me..."

"The I.R.S.?" Brian had to try and throw a curveball.

"Huh?" Jenny lifted her upper torso, resting back on her elbows to glance over at Brian.

"The I.R.S. scares me… but that shouldn't matter to you." Brian sighed, he wanted to find a way to entertain Jenny until she grew tired and fell asleep. "Let's make up our own story. I'll begin the first part of the sentence… and you help me finish it."

"… 'kay..."

"Yup... okay, I'll go first. Once upon a time…"

"… there liv'd a man…"

"… who shared a rickety old home with his overbearing mother and…"

"… she plant'd cucumbers..."

"Cu-cum-bers?"

"… tomatoes?...” Jenny thought she had said something wrong.

"Jenny…" How did Brian know Jenny would have no idea how to play?

"What? I's a good story." 

"You ended the sentence but you, also, ended our story. I need to care about this man. Right now, he's as thrilling as dishwater, like watching paint dry."

"… sorry... uhm..." Jenny's giggling clearly said she wasn't going to come up with anything better.

"This time you go first."

"Once upon a time…" Jenny mimicked exactly what Brian had begun with.

"… there was a Gentle Giant…"

"… who took baths in fish-heads an' dandy-lions…"

" _Whoa… Whoa… Whoa… Whoa…_ "

"What?"

"What is this… The Further Adventures of Crackhead Jolly Green Giant?"

Jenny had to almost hold her belly intact to keep from falling off her bed. "… I can do it ah-gain..." So she decided she'd try. "… who took baths in warm punkin pie an' cool van-illa ice cream…"

"Jenny…"

Jenny let out a heavy sigh. "I know... go to sleep..."

"No, I…"

"Brian?"

"Yeah, honey?"

"… thank you…" Jenny made some slight moves to settle back in bed.

"Jenny…"

"I know... 'm gonna fall 'sleep now..."

"No. Scoot over… I'm coming up."

Jenny clapped and did one mini-cheer of happiness as she held open her pink pastel Princess Barbie comforter.

"Oh… HELL… no!!" Brian went in search of a hidden stash of some "adult" blankets.

Jenny waited patiently for Brian's return. Her face was peeking from beyond the thick material. A secret smile was hidden underneath.

**~~TBC...**


	4. Chapter 4

 

Brian felt the first flutter against his face when the sun barely peeked out of the early morning sky, highlighting half the hardwood floor. He swatted at the nuisance, burrowing deeper in the pillow under his face. 

"Brrriiiiaaaannnn…" The tiny voice called out, close to the only thing visible under the Toronto Maple Leafs throw that covered Brian.

"Go 'way." Brian tried to turn his cheek away, but something weighed down on his head. "Wha-?" He still kept his eyes shut.

"I didn' wan' you to get scar'd... 'm up... Mommmy wan's me to take a bath...” Jenny leaned over to look into Brian's face, noticing he was still unaware that it was her trying to wake him up.

Brian sighed in content. "Tha's great. Leave some water for me." He stopped short when he heard the light chuckle and warm breath near his face, coupled with the distant chortle… _from Melanie?_ He growled deeply under his breath. He hoped she left soon. Jenny? Well… _she_ could stay.

"… 'kay..." Jenny never moved one inch. Her little body attempting to wrap itself in a bear hug about Brian's scrunched frame.

Brian slowly inched his head up, flipping his face over to lay on his right cheek. He slowly blinked his eyes into focus. Open, caught in those killer mocha-brown eyes, he became speechless. "… g'mornin'..." He tucked his face into his biceps, squeezing his pillow tight. "Didja sleep good?"

Jenny smiled, bending down to almost meet her face with Brian's. "… you did..."

Brian made a "smelly" face. "Did I snore?"

Jenny could only stare, her gaze not faltering. She then shook her head in reply. "Do you dream of Daddy a lot?"

Brian choked on his next breath. _Oh Dear God…_ "Why? What did I say?"

Jenny shrugged, then rubbed Brian's back. "… nuthin'... i's okay..." She dipped her head close to Brian's ear. "I dream 'bout 'im too... I feel sorta funny when I do, my chest hurts later..."

Brian seemed slightly embarrassed. He glanced over at Melanie standing in the doorway. "You won't…"

"Promise." Jenny crossed an "X" over her heart. "I don' like sharing 'im.... nobody knows, but us...”

"Tell me about it."

Jenny quickly pressed her lips to Brian's cheek, gently rubbing her skin against his stubble. "… see you downstairs..."

"Later." Brian caressed a hand behind Jenny's head.

"Guess what?" Jenny pretended like she was about to tickle Brian.

" _What?_ " Brian chuckled, his body on alert if those tiny fingers began to move.

All Jenny did was dip her head again toward him and say, "… we're seein' Daddy to-day... is'n't it great?”

"Stupendous." Brian mumbled out as he leaned down to press a delicate kiss to Jenny's brow. "Did you already eat breakfast?"

Jenny nodded, then made a scrunchy, I-smell-something-funny face. "... Linds help'd me make you coffee... an' some toast..." She appeared proud of her many accomplishments.

"Perfect." Brian lay back down, watching Jenny back off the bed and out of the room. She wouldn't quite look away from him fully, a little shy about how happy and ecstatic she was to be flying in one hour, back to Pittsburgh. Seeing her Daddy being somewhere in her future today.

Once Jenny and Melanie had disappeared, Brian felt a similar flutter in his stomach, probably about as excited as Jenny was to see Michael. It had been longer for Jenny, but long enough for Brian. Almost three weeks. He buried his face back in his pillow, not sure if he was ready for what might happen next.

"Pop?"

Brian swiftly lifted his head, sitting up in the twin bed. "Gus?"

Gus paced into the room, marching toward the side of the mattress. "Are you really leaving today?"

"Yeah."

"Jenny's going with you?"

"Yup." Brian couldn't read the expression on his son's features. There wasn't much about Jenny that impressed Gus these days, especially at _this_ age.

"Is she gonna be all right?" Gus' face clearly showed that Brian didn't know how much Gus truly had cared about his little sister.

"What do you know?" Brian had some idea that there was more Gus wasn't telling his mothers, to simply ease their worry.

"More than I've told Mom and Mel." Gus glanced over his shoulder once, making sure no one else was in earshot. He didn't want to get himself, or anyone else, in trouble. He trusted his father, immensely, to keep a secret.

"Like _what_?" Brian scooted further down the bed to sit on the end of the mattress. He made sure he left room for Gus to mosey up and sit with him.

Gus did just that very thing. "Like… how often she cries herself to sleep."

"How often?"

"Maybe every other night… in a stretch of a few weeks. She seemed fine for awhile, but then… I don't know. I tried to ask Mom and Mel about it, but they didn't know what I was talking about. I guess it bothered me more, this time, because I thought she was doing it on purpose. Trying to ruin my party." Gus sighed when he looked at his father. "I know that sounds kinda stupid. She's never done that stuff to me before. I just…" He paused, not being able to find the words. "… this party was important. I didn't want anything to go wrong."

Brian raised a curious eyebrow. " _How important?_ "

"The girl I like was invited." Gus spoke softly, unsure how his father might take the news.

" _Christ!_ " Brian rubbed a hand over his face. Yet another child in crisis. Although he had known something was going on with Gus before this moment. Not specifics, though. "And did you succeed?"

"With _what_?"

"Impressing her?"

“Pop, please...” Gus bent his head, shy all of a sudden. "… the guys would eat me alive if they found out."

"Does she have some aversion to light?"

"What?"

"Is she butt ugly? Does she scare small children?"

"No!" Gus chuckled, his nerves calming down. "At least to me she isn't."

"I know… you tripped and dropped a plate of food on her new dress, didn't you?"

"No… _worse_ …" Gus became mum.

"Worse than _what_?"

"I set fire to her hair."

" _Oh, Lord_ …" Brian covered his face, only to hide his grin and a quick chuckle. He coughed out the response. "Is she suing for personal property damage?"

"No. Mom checked her out. She told me that the hair spray burnt away first before the flames touched her skin." Gus could see something weird about his father. "Go ahead. It's okay. You can laugh. Mel did."

That comment immediately set Brian into rights. "The Great Casanova Kinney strikes again."

"It wasn't my fault."

"It never usually is, Gus."

"It wasn't really hers, either. We were both kinda at fault."

"She okay?"

"Yeah. She was more embarrassed than angry, really. Said her mom wanted her to cut her hair anyway."

"Well… maybe you won her mother over."

"Pop… I think I might need some help."

"No. What you need, seriously, are some bumper pads and a helmet."

Gus lightly punched his father's biceps. "Stop jokin'. I feel bad enough."

"Good."

"I'm afraid she may not like me quite the same way I like her."

"Letting her catch on fire does put a damper on things."

"I _like_ her."

"You said that."

"No… I really, _really_ like her. She's cooler and much more fun to hang out with than the other girls in my class."

Brian realized Gus was looking for some romantic love advice, which was way out of his range. "Son, I'm not really the right person to ask advice of about girls… and making them like you back."

"Because you like men?"

Brian went blank, stunned even. "Well… yeah… but it's more about me not really knowing how to make people like me. I'm better at them hating the very sight of me."

Gus brushed off that statement like it didn't matter to him. His father was here and he wanted to talk, like they usually did. "Is Jenny coming back?"

Brian faked a quick look over his shoulder. " _Whoa!_ You nearly gave me whiplash with that change in subject." He soothed his neckline.

"Pop, Jessica… the girl I like… babysits Jenny. If Jenny doesn't come back, then--" Gus knew he didn't have to go into too much of an explanation for his father to understand his problem.

"… you don't have another way 'in'…" Brian used the usual "finger quotes in the air" to make his point.

"Huh?" Gus wasn't clear on what his father was getting at.

Brian shook his head, sadly. He still tried to talk to people like he did Michael. Showed how much he missed him and their easy conversations. "Never mind. I'll tell you when your older."

"I became older yesterday." Gus teased, a smirk forming on his lips.

Brian laughed, shaking his head. " _Muchmuchmuch_ older." He sighed, reaching out to touch Gus' shoulder. "I'm not sure what's gonna happen with Jenny."

"Will she be all right?" Gus knew his father didn't mind his affection for his little sister. In fact, he knew he was encouraged to take care of her as if they were biological siblings.

"She _will be_ … very soon."

"Good. I'm happy for her." Gus genuinely smiled. "I've missed her."

Brian smiled sadly toward Gus, knowing that his son probably knew more than he was letting on. "She'll be back."

“Thanks for coming for my birthday party.” Gus leaned in and hugged his father, knowing how difficult it tended to be for his father, and Michael, to make the long journey from Pittsburgh to Toronto. "And thanks for my gifts."

Brian held Gus close, brushing through the tangled locks. "Anytime, son." He pressed a kiss to the top of Gus' head. "You know the number to reach me."

"Yup." Gus buried his face in his father's chest. "Love you, Pop. I'll miss you"

Brian paused, taking a long time to think about what he should say to Gus. "I love you, too. You'll do fine with Jessica. My only advice is… _be yourself_. Most important… _find out what she likes and… force yourself to find out everything you can about it_. You might get lucky and begin to like it yourself. You'll 'wow' her with all your nifty knowledge."

"That really works?" Gus stared up at his father.

"Yup." Brian nodded.

"What did you do to get someone to _like_ you?"

"Pretended I liked comic books and superheros."

" _Did it work?_ "

"I think so. We'll have to see."

Brian gazed down at Gus, intently, fascinated by the particular characteristics of the young face that reminded him of himself. Like going back in time and looking into a mirror.

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

" `Lo?"

"Why are you _whispering_?"

"I'm not. I'm speaking in a low tone."

"Why?"

"... 'Cause I know it gets you hot."

Michael paused, because he certainly did have his ears tuned to the timber of Brian's voice and it was directly connected to his… unmentionables. "How is she?"

"Asleep."

"Oh."

"On my lap." Brian bent down to comb his fingers through Jenny's long strands. "How did Benjamin take it?"

"I think… he's gonna try to keep busy with other things."

"Avoiding the problem? Sounds like The Professor."

"Can I tell you something?"

"What?"

"I'm not… I want you to know that whatever happens… _between us_ … _you and I_ … has no direct relation to what's happening with my marriage."

"What are you telling me?"

"I think Ben may leave, if I keep Jenny any longer than he feels is--"

"… to his liking." Brian finished for Michael, with a heavy sigh of displeasure.

"Why when you say it does Ben sound like a complete bastard? I hear that particular voice in my head… _might be residuals of you_ … but it tells me that Ben is wrong about this situation. Because everything I'm doing, as of right now, feels right on target."

"Michael, first of all… this isn't a _situation_. You're saving your daughter's life. And secondly… Ben was never the man for you any way." Brian let those words sit between them until Michael chose to acknowledge them.

"You may be right this time. I wish I knew who was." Michael thought to leave that comment laying in the air until Brian chose to recognize his true feelings.

"I might be able to help."

"Really? You have some men I'd like to meet?"

" _One._ "

"Oh… _who_?"

"I'm not doing this over the phone, Michael. Come pick me and Jenny up at the airport. I'll think about whether to tell you who it could be… or not."

"I'll be there when you land."

"See you."

"Tell Jenny I love her… and I can't wait to see her. You know… when she wakes up."

Brian didn't respond for a few seconds. " _Anything else?_ "

Michael smirked, knowing full well what Brian was trying to get at. He had learned a harsh lesson. He wasn't going to admit anything until Brian did. "No… not unless _you_ know of anything."

Brian knew Michael was simply trying to get him to spill, but he wasn't going to bite. "No. I don't really."

"Okay then."

"Yeah…"

They both kept the silence up for quite awhile.

"Bye, Mikey." Brian teased, his thumb ready to hang up.

"I can't wait to see you, either… _asshole_ …" Michael made sure he yelled into the phone before Brian did his casual hang-up routine.

Brian laughed as he pondered what would meet him at the airport when the plane landed. He could just imagine how Michael would react and it made him squeeze Jenny harder to his chest.

"Me too… me too…"

~~&&~~&&~~&&~~&&~~

Brian hefted Jenny onto the seat. "Here… hold this." He let her hold her own knapsack she had brought on the flight. He was reaching up to draw down his carry-on bag. Slinging the strap across his chest, he lifted Jenny into his arms.

They had let most of the passengers by them, knowing how nervous they were to walk off the plane.

Jenny rubbed her sweaty palms together. "You okay?"

Brian lied through his teeth. "Yeah… you?"

"Jus' peachy." Jenny grinned, her lips shaking. She wrapped an arm about Brian's neck.

Brian smirked at Jenny's use of a word he normally said, from time to time. He better watch his language around her. "All right then. Let's get on with the show."

The line of flight attendants did their usual spiel of " _ **Hello/Goodbye… Thank you for flying our airline**_ " and offered to help Brian with anything he couldn't handle.

"No, thanks. I got it all."

"Bye, Mr. Kinney." One of the flight attendants waved. "Bye, Jenny."

Jenny gave a small wave, feeling weird at being so friendly to complete strangers. "I like First Class, Brian... i's fun... the seats are so big... two of me can sit there..."

"One of you is enough, honey." Brian was walking calmly, way too slowly for Jenny's sake, down the walk-way.

Jenny turned her face away, unable to watch the view as they approached the terminal inside. She ducked her face into Brian's shoulder. "… tell me when you see Daddy..."

"Okay." Brian soothed Jenny's back, feeling just as frightened as she was at this very moment.

Beyond the open double doors of their flight's gate, Brian couldn't make out one familiar face. Not even Michael's. He walked a few more steps beyond the ticket counter, wondering if Michael had found a seat somewhere close by.

No such luck.

Michael was no where to be found.

Jenny heard Brian's deep sigh. She poked her head back up, twisting about to do her own search. "Brian… wha's wrong?"

"I don't know. I can't--I don't think--"

It was like someone listened from above to their frantic worry over where Michael could be.

People seemed to spread a wide girth for Michael to walk through as he looked up at the ceiling to count down which gate he was finally at. He laughed at his own stupidity, then moved ahead. He stopped short of approaching when he caught sight of both Brian and Jenny in his line of vision.

" _Oh Dear God… almighty…_ " Michael covered his hands over the lower part of his face. He wanted to freak out with such heartfelt emotion, but he knew Brian wouldn't take that much in public.

Brian saw Michael first. When his breath caught, Jenny turned to look… and nearly broke down in tears.

"Daddy…" Jenny choked out as she tried to blink away her tears.

Brian closed his eyes, burying half his face in Jenny's soft plait of hair. His heart was racing a mile a minute. He didn't think he could breathe properly if he let Jenny go… or made one more step toward Michael.

Michael was sure Brian would approach him first, but by the look of things… no one was prepared for the rush of feelings. He opened his mouth… and mouthed the first thing that came out of his heart. "… thank you…" He did a slight bow, the tears falling of their own accord.

Brian saw the lips move, turning away to look in another direction. He couldn't bear to see Michael lay himself at his feet like that… so readily and unselfishly.

"… put me down, Brian..." Jenny warbled out, her body twitching to be placed on the floor.

Brian snickered. "Of course. Sorry, honey." He pressed a quick kiss to Jenny's brow, then did as she requested.

When Jenny's feet touched ground, she took off.

Michael was ready for her. He bent down to her level, holding his arms out for her to jump into… which she did, nearly knocking him off his feet. He spun her around, placing kiss after kiss on her cheek as she hid her face in his neck. He repeated her name so many times, he made Jenny giggle through her tears.

Brian rubbed at his jaw, then wiped at his eyes… finding a moisture that was often foreign to him. A pink Barbie knapsack in one hand and his own bag strapped across his chest… standing alone and… watching… and waiting.

Michael whispered words into Jenny's ear, causing her to nod over and over again. She burrowed deeper into her father's arms, never wanting to let go.

Michael noticed Brian, frozen in place and unable to move. He thought he might be the first to make an advance. Show Brian his appreciation and a love that had never left -- just hibernating until it was safe to come back out. As he stepped closer, Brian seemed to retreat into himself. "No… don't…" He made a grab for Brian's sleeve. His fingers slipped and snatched for the fingers. He could feel the shaking… the sweat… the possible fear emanating.

"Michael, I--"

Michael made a further grip for Brian's hand, pulling him close to his side. He stood on tip toe, but managed to leave the longest kiss on Brian's upper cheekbone. He meshed his face into Brian's. "You realize… you can't revert back from this moment. Whatever you say now can't ever compare to what you've done for me… and Jenny."

"It was nothing. You'd do it for me. And you have."

"Returning the favor?"

"No…" Brian let the Barbie knapsack drop to the floor, at his feet. Took his own bag off with one hand, keeping Michael and Jenny close. With one swift maneuver, he wrapped his arm about Michael's waist. Closing his eyes, he began to dip his forehead. He smiled widely feeling Michael lift himself up in order to meet their brows in their old way of communicating. "For the first time in my life, I'm utterly speechless."

"No you're not." Michael sighed, loving the feel of being held, enclosed in Brian's arms, with Jenny safely in his own. "Don't open your eyes… look here…" He reached up a hand to soothe over Brian's chest, near his rapidly beating heart. "… and tell me what you see…"

Brian let out a mixture of a snicker, bursts of air and a sob.

Michael pressed his fingers over Brian's mouth. "Sssshhhh… it's okay. You can take your time. I'm not in a rush."

"… 'm in-no rush too..." This little comment came from Jenny. She finally lifted her head from her perch on her father's shoulder. "… i's okay to be scar'd, Brian..."

Michael nodded his head. "She's right."

"I know… but--"

"… 'but' _what_?"

"I've hurt you so much already. It's not right for me to ask anything more of you."

"Tell me, Brian." Michael went back to rubbing Brian's shirt. "What do you see here?"

"You…" Brian opened his eyes, gazing directly into Michael's face. Michael's eyes were still closed. He brought up his hand, in the form of a fist, and tenderly rubbed Michael's cheek.

Michael chuckled. "You sure that's it?"

"No, not ever. I look at you and--" Brian shrugged, finding all his answers in Michael's strikingly handsome features. When had those boyishly handsome features matured and become exactly what he never knew he needed?

"And _what_?" Michael pressed his face into Brian's soft touch.

"I see… my future… and… I'm complete…"

Michael opened his eyes just in time to see Brian bend down to kiss him, brushing their noses together first… and falling into madness.

**~*~THE END**


End file.
